Your Brain Is An Asshole

There will always be reasons to not workout.

This morning, I fixed my hair and put on makeup (GASP!) to run errands, so when Jeremy came home, I hesitated when he asked if I wanted to go to the gym. With the massive amounts of sweat that would surely pour off my still out of shape body, my makeup would be ruined. It would drip down my face in a crude metaphor of beauty being skin deep or some such nonsense.

Before that, I spent a grueling hour and a half at the tag office registering a vehicle we bought in March (oops) with two children in tow. My patience was worn thin, and all I wanted to do was sit down, have a piece of chocolate, and forget about the hundreds of dollars that had just been wasted.

I didn’t want to go to the gym. I had every reason not to go. I always have every reason to go.

Being healthy is mental, and yes, you can take that any way you like. Your brain will try everything possible to convince you to not workout. Even when you start, your brain will continue to sabotage you. It’ll tell you your body can’t take what you’re doing, that your lungs are going to explode if you don’t slow down, that it’s okay to give up because at least you tried.

Your brain is an asshole. Don’t listen to it.

I have to barter with myself every time I workout. Today I ran two miles. I wanted to run three, but I let my brain win. After mile one, my heart was racing and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I walked for two minutes, slowed down, and told myself to stop being such a wuss and pick up the pace. By the end of mile two, the person on the treadmill next to me had angrily left because I was breathing so loudly. My brain was sending me into panic mode, and the only way I could get out of it was to force the breath in and out of my lungs with such force that it sounded like I was auditioning for a porno. Embarrassment won out and I stopped.

My brain may have succeeded today, but it won’t succeed forever. I’ll try again tomorrow and the next day, and I’ll keep going until the sound of self doubt is no longer so deafening.