The first time someone shared this picture on my Facebook wall, I thought, “Bahaha! Yes!” The second time, I found it amusing that two of my friends saw this pithy Python meme and thought of me. Then it was shared a third time…and a fourth…and I began to wonder – am I that big of a grammar asshole?* 

I am, admittedly, one of Those People who correct the spelling errors on memes. I will call out friends, family, and strangers who use shitty grammar. If you don’t know the difference between your and you’re or their, there, and they’re, I will be seiged by a series of mind-boggling twitches when I read your post. These errors have nothing to do with me. The fate of the world isn’t held in the balance by their correct use. But seeing them – simply laying eyes on them – makes me want to Hulk smash something. 

 

I’m a Grammar Asshole. It’s taken me years to realize this.  

“No, no, I’m not being a dick. I just want to help educate you! Don’t you want to look more intelligent?” 

Reading back on my go-to responses to WHY MUST YOU CORRECT EVERYTHING?? has made me realize that I’m just as bad as those poor souls who type “an” instead of “and” and “should of” instead of “should have.” I’m polluting the world with my own self-righteous vitriol. 

This was made clear to me this week at work. I sent out an email praising some of the other departments for a job well done. I was in a hurry and didn’t read it before I sent it out so, of course, there was a mistake in the email. After I hit send, I thought the building was about to collapse. There were shouts of “a – ha!” and loud guffaws throughout the building. The entirety of my department rejoiced at the fact that I’d made a mistake. 

Thank you, Karma, for kicking my ass in front of my co-workers. 🙂 

*My son is five and he already has superhero grammar books. Yes, I AM that big of a grammar asshole.